Children aren’t always the best decision makers: skin their knee and, they want to amputate the whole leg. Don’t blame them, it’s not their fault—the sensory world is just too intense a design for them and they aren’t experienced enough to handle the stress. And isn’t that all there is to adulthood, an ability to handle the little stresses? Well, every once in a blue moon you come across a guy like Sean Murphy, a 38-year old resident of South Yorks in the United Kingdom, and you can’t help but realize, the world is full of children of all ages.
Mr. Murphy had been complaining about a wart on his middle finger for years. He tried everything to get rid of it: creams, freezing it, that weird paste stuff and, as of last week, shooting it off with 12-gauge shotgun.
And to his credit Murphy succeeded where many so-called dermatologists had failed before. He successfully removed the wart—along with his middle finger—and if that wasn’t enough, he was later arrested, tried and convicted of illegal firearm possession, a crime that carries a maximum sentence of 15-years in the British Isles. Lucky for him, the judge must have figured the blow he’d feel once the reality of shooting off an important part of his hand set in (as opposed to an unimportant part) would be punishment enough, and handed down a 16-week suspended sentence.
Murphy claims he found the Beretta double barrel side-by-side “under a hedge” (our bullshit alarm sounded when we heard that one) and, as has been the case with most of our failings (and successes too, mom), alcohol was a contributing factor.
Last week he told reporters: “I’m happy with that. The best thing is the wart has gone. It was giving me a lot of trouble. It was as big as my thumbnail. I’d tried all sorts of things, but it wouldn’t go. I didn’t expect to lose my finger – there was nothing left of it.”
So that’s what they use shotguns for in Britain. Tell your friends. Oh, and check out this guys warts: