HOLY SHIT THE PRESIDENT’S GOT A OBAMA ALIEN DEMON UFO GHOST 666 DEVIL SECRET SERVICE WEREODILE! FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHERE ARE OUR ALIEN HUNTERS WHEN WE NEED THEM MOST?

SOMEONE GET THOSE HARLEM SHAKE PEOPLE HERE, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HURRY!

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For more on the men and women and wereodiles that guard our nation’s President, check out “Weapons of the Secret Service Part I.”