Cobra Command Looking for Investors Following G.I. Joe Attack (VIDEO)

With their headquarters destroyed in a pitiless and calculated G.I. Joe attack, Cobra Command — aka C.O.B.R.A. — is looking for new ways to rebuild: they’re turning to Kickstarter to crowd source investors.

Help non-profit organization C.O.B.R.A. rebuild its home and base of operations, Cobra Island, which was destroyed by G.I. Joe.

“We are C.O.B.R.A., a worldwide organization devoted to making advancements in science and defense technology.

“Recently our home and secret base of operations was destroyed in an attack by the terrorist militia known as G.I. Joe.”

Listen, we know it’s getting to be tax season, so if you’re getting a little back, you might want to send a little good will in the C.O.B.R.A. direction. It’s not enough to give to the Red Cross and call it a day.

G.I. Joe is a skilled and dangerous rogue paramilitary organization with more than just a history of terrorism. G.I. Joe almost universally recruits children into their ranks, using decades of propaganda to turn kids into child soldiers.

With U.S. and U.N. forces largely distancing themselves from G.I. Joe, Cobra Command is one of, if not the only agency willing to deal with these radicals.