WASHINGTON, DC – With the Air Force facing a series of combined wartime and sequestration budget cuts totaling over $14 billion, Air Force Chief of Staff Mark Welsh III outlined to reporters today the Air Force’s new procurement plan to use local bake sales to fund the purchase of aircraft.
“We’re going to need a hell of a lot of brownies,” General Welsh told reporters in the kitchen of his Washington, D.C. home, where his wife Betty was making the first batch of the estimated 1.6 billion brownies needed to afford a single B-2 bomber.
The first part of the bake sale will be occurring later this week on the flight line of Andrews Air Force Base, and will feature a series of cookies, pies, scones, danishes, tarts, croissants, biscottis, and cakes made by the families of base personnel. It will subsequently be held Air Force-wide on planes detailed to Transportation Command.
According to General Welsh, the bake sale will be only the first of many ways the Air Force will be raising money during the sequester.
“Procurement, while vital, is only a small part of the Air Force budget, General Welsh explained. “We also have to pay for salaries, flight hours, repairs, space defense satellites, complimentary Fabergé eggs for new recruits, etcetera.”
Seriously, if you’re not reading the Duffel Blog the world is a sadder place for you. They also do Facebook if you’re into that sort of thing.