And you thought stubbing your toe on the corner of the couch hurts bad now. Introducing the CouchBunker, a fire-rated gun safe hidden inside a custom built couch. Oh but does it get better: every CouchBunker comes with a bullet proof cushions fit with carry straps, so that they can be used as shields.
The CouchBunker is the finest in lounge-centric security from the BedBunker company, which makes — surprise — safes that you can sleep on.
“If you break it down and remove the cushions, you notice it looks like a normal sofa. But open up the lid, and you have a concealed gun safe,” explained the company’s Brian Poitevent to KHOU.
“[The] CouchBunker … is available in a wide range of styles, leather and fabric coverings creating choices from game room casual to living room formal,” according to the product page. “Charles Alan Inc., a Ft. Worth contract furniture house, makes the couches, to order.”
“The safe portion is the size of one-half of a queen sized bed, and weighs 650 pounds,” it continues. “The safe is 78 inches long by 29.5 inches wide, and 14 inches deep. It is lined with a two-hour fire wall.” Complete with the couch and cushions the whole CouchBunker weighs 900 pounds, sans arms and ammo, of which it can hold a great deal.
The cushions, when equipped with optional ballistic inserts, will stop up to .44 Magnum rounds.
“Hopefully you never need the panels,” said CouchBunker inventor John Adrain, “But we never know the situation we’re going to be in. If there’s a home invasion, you can take one of the cushions, and hand it to one of your children or your spouse to protect them. We make them with arm straps, so you can hold the cushion with one hand and fire with the other hand.”
Although they’re on the spendy side, starting at about $5,000, that’s not altogether much more than what many similar size and quality, non-couch-shaped safes cost. It’s not a steep markup for the couch camo.
The company also makes an ottoman safe for handguns for $4,000. They are built to-order, with many upholstery options including leather, and take 6 to 8 weeks for delivery.
And if you have to ask why, the answer is “America, that’s why.” (The answer “Because Texas” would also be acceptable.)