A man was arrested and booked into jail while carrying a hidden firearm in an intimate compartment.
Sunday morning, 33-year-old Wichita native, Mark Gregory Valadez, was arrested after committing a minor city violation. The Oklahoma County Jail was busy, however, and instead of a cavity search and passing through a metal detector, officers only subjected Valdadez to a pat-down, and therefore missed the dirty derringer stashed in his rectum.
Just 16 hours after being incarcerated, Valadez boasted of his still concealed weapon to fellow inmates, who promptly snitched on him.
Officers conducted a cavity search and discovered the loaded gun in Valadez’ prison pocket. with one loaded round, and one spent casing.
“We had our officers go up and do a search and they found a little, small derringer with one small round inside,” Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel told KFOR.
Neither Valadez nor officers commented on when the round was fired, whether pre or post insertion, but upon the weapon’s discovery, Valadez was transported to a local hospital for treatment of injuries suffered as a result of stuffing the gun inside his body.
According to Whetsel, the term used to describe the method of Valadez’ concealment is called “keistering,” where “they take whatever it is and up the hole she goes,” he said.
Keistering drugs and weapons into penal institutions is nothing new. Early last year a North Carolina man was arrested for several moving violations. He was having difficulty walking and was sent to the hospital for suspected heart problems. One week later, a gun was found in his jail cell.
In a related incident, a suicide bomber detonated a bomb that was hidden inside his rectum. He failed to kill his mark, but succeeded in killing himself.
Finally, last July, an Oklahoma woman went all out when she suspected she may be incarcerated, hiding bags of methamphetamine in her rectum and a loaded revolver in her vagina.
Valadez’ charges have been upgraded to a felony count of possession of contraband in a penal institution, and he has given a whole new meaning to the phrase “pocket pistol.”