Two separate crooks accidentally shoot themselves in the junk

A pair of criminals some 1,400 miles apart this month had negligent discharges into the region of the man cannon showing that, in the end, karma can be harsh.

The first incident came in Argus, South Dakota when Donald Anthony Watson was admitted to the Avera McKennan emergency room about 1:30 a.m. Sept. 6 with a gunshot wound to his penis.

Watson, 43, told police he was clipped by “a black guy (who) tried to rob” him while he was taking out his trash as reported by the Argus Leader.

However, after interviews didn’t jive with a search of Watson’s apartment, police revisited the issue and the man came clean that he was trying to buy a gun and accidentally popped himself in the love muscle when sticking the handgun in his pocket.

A prohibited firearms possessor, Watson was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of a firearm by a drug offender, false report of a crime to law enforcement and false report of information to law enforcement.

The second man-parts shootout, as reported by the New York Daily News, occurred when Javier Thomas, 26, came in contact with police in the Big Apple while urinating in public in East Flatbush about 1:15 a.m. last Saturday morning.

While attempting to toss his illegally-carried Glock 19, Thomas accidentally pumped a round into his groin area. Although he fled, police caught him after a shot foot pursuit and recovered the handgun from under a mini-van.

Transported to an area hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, Thomas was charged with weapons possession and reckless endangerment.

Insert “it was only a 9mm” joke here.