It didnât take long for the media to start dousing Colion Noirâs new web series, eponymously titled âNoir,â with hate.
For those who have yet to view the first episode, âNoirâ is a show geared toward young people that discusses âthe latest on firearms, fashion, pop culture and other hot topics,â according to Noir, the self-proclaimed âurban gun enthusiastâ and National Rifle Association commentator.
In one blistering review by the libertarian-leaning Reason.com, Elizabeth Nolan Brown wrote that the âoverall effect suggests the show was written by a bot exclusively pulling from the Washington Free Beacon and Perez Hilton.â
Brown then laid out 11 âcringe-inducing momentsâ during the 16-minute long show, including this exchange between Noir and his affable cohost Amy Robbins.
âIs it me or is Mayor Bloomberg the lamest billionaire on the planet?â âNoir (Followed by Robbins: âOkay, I love that you called him the worldâs lamest billionaire. Itâs so true!â)
Gawker writer Adam Weinstein ripped it apart, calling it âhilariously bad poser garbage,â further jabbing Noirâs rhetoric as âcringe-inducing âurbanâ script copy dropping out of Noirâs mouth like it was written by a white Mitch McConnell intern on summer break from Liberty University.â
At the end of his article, Weinstein takes a personal shot at Noirâs love of hats.
âAlso, how trustworthy is this Colion Noir?â asked Weinstein. âPut another way: Who in good conscience can wear a Yankees hat ⌠and a Phillies hat? A fucking poser, thatâs who,â he chided.
Mike Spies for Vocativ slammed âNoirâ as being âproduced by aliens who spent an hour studying American pop culture,â claiming that the âNRA employs millenial-friendly tropes to attract younger members â and fails miserably.â
Well, hereâs the question? Is âNoirâ really that bad of a show?
I think itâs too early to make that call. Putting aside the specious personal attacks and the untenable snark, what can definitely be said about the show is that there were some structural shortcomings in the first episode.
The intro, for example, rambles on for four minutes (roughly a quarter of the entire show) and in it Noir doesnât just discuss what heâs going to cover during the first episode but what heâs going to talk about in future shows. I found this to be a little confusing. Iâd imagine Iâm not the only one.
The flow of the show was disjointed. One minute theyâre talking about Dan Bilzerianâs bombshell groupies, the next minute their doing their version of MTV cribs called âGun Pads,â which is a cool premise but it wasnât exactly clear whose pad it was as there was no tour guide showing off the rather exquisite collection of firearms, then Billy Johnson, another NRA commentator, just randomly appears to talk about âstatists.â
Iâm not going to comment on camera angles or the style of the show but to say that at one time I felt as though I was watching a reprisal of Michelle Bachmannâs Tea Party response to President Obamaâs 2011 State of the Union address.
Another cringe-worthy line, according to Reason.comâs Brown:
âItâs pretty blatant that Hillary is no longer sleeping with Bill Clinton,â says Noir, âbecause if she were, he would inform her that this whole gun issue thing and trying to walk this elusive line of gun control but still for the Second Amendment rights is probably not the smartest thing to do.â
Compared to other NRA programming, like former Navy SEAL Dom Rasoâs âMedia Lab,â which is basically a tactical version of âMyth Bustersâ for combat and fight scenes in film and television, that has a clearly defined identity and structure â they just premiered episode 2 of âMedia Labâ. âNoirâ has yet to find its footing.
My recommendation to Noir, for what itâs worth, would be to simplify the segments (less non-sequitur dialogue), work on the transitions so they become more fluid and less disorientating and cover fewer topics but discuss them more in-depth or, if you still wanna cover all that ground, take a page outta ESPNâs PTI and put a tracker on screen so folks can more closely follow the flow and content of the show (delineate the showâs skeletal structure to the viewer).
Oh yes, and donât listen to the haters (including me, though, I hope I was being more constructively critical and encouraging than downright hateful), because youâre capable, talented and youâll get things right. Â Remember, Rome wasnât built in a day and neither is mistake-free programming.