Dear Santa: I need a machine gun

sig machine gun on table

Need. (Photo by Jim Grant)

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good guy this year and I only want three things. Remember how last year I wrote you for an Heckler & Koch MP5 and you didn’t deliver? I don’t blame you anymore. You knew something I didn’t.  You knew about SIG’s MPX. Thanks to your foresight, I don’t have to find a buyer for a dozen heavily-used magazines and one well-loved semi-auto sub-gun.

So, I’d really like an MPX for Christmas this year, preferably one with as many magazines as you can find. That way when I’m sharing the love with friends and family, I don’t have to spend the whole time loading magazines.

I’ve also got a request on behalf of gun owners everywhere. If you could just dissolve the NFA and Hughes Amendment, I could get that MPX with a sound suppressor and giggle switch. Just think, with all the extra ammo being used up, ammo companies would have to hire more people. Those folks will have an even better holiday season because they’ll have more spending money for presents, charity and all kinds of good stuff. Really Santa, it’s a no-brainer.

Also, if you’re taking requests, I’d really like to have Glock come out with a single stack, sub-compact 9mm pistol next year at SHOT. Just think, even you could pocket carry one, and the elves would be nonethewiser. It would be small enough for even Mrs. Claus to comfortably shoot!


P.S. – I’ll be sure to leave the regular milk, cookies and a box of .45 ACP out for you.

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